Is sexuality fluid?
To consider this question, we must first define the term fluid. To be fluid, in essence, is to exude water-like characteristics. That which flows freely, that which defies boundaries and hammers out paths for itself. Water is a shape-shifting element.
In terms of sexuality, can an individual embrace fluidity?
Sexuality is born from a multitude of variables. As the individual grows up in their corresponding gender bracket, they must also be influenced by that gender’s culture. Men, for example, have a gender culture which includes being the “bread-winner” of a family and being emotionally and physically tough. Women have a gender culture which includes being emotionally acute and being the “home-maker” of a family.
While these are just simple differences of male and female gender cultures, society can’t help but hold its citizens to these standards at all times. It’s the reason why men aren’t allowed to cry at movies or why people smirk when a woman wants to try out for the football team. It isn’t because individuals aren’t capable of having qualities of the opposite sex, it’s simply because society has dictated that crossing that boundary will prompt judgment. And as with any culture, judgment can be harsh. Hey pussy! Only girls cry when Mufasa dies in The Lion King, right?
If an individual decides to refute gender constructs, deny the idea that “boys don’t cry” for instance, then they have thus obliterated so many boundaries for themselves! Such boundaries limit their sexuality.
It sounds as if we’re talking only about gender. But of course, gender in this day and age isn’t the only factor when determining sexuality. We all know that just because you’re a boy doesn’t mean you’re inevitably going to like girls.
In this sense, sexuality is absolutely fluid because gender is fluid. We no longer have male and female, we have the in between, the androgynous, the multi-gendered as well. Sure, reality will always illustrate the two extremes of the gender spectrum, but that doesn’t mean the middle ground is chopped liver!
But can your sexuality be fluid your whole life? Or is it simply discovered when one has finally had the chance, strength, (the guts?) to live to their own self-made standards?
Homosexual to heterosexual, bisexual to homosexual, heterosexual to bisexual. Individuals don’t change teams very often. In fact, it’s as if there is a stigma against those who do. Wishy-washy, selfish, picky, bisexuals seem to want it all whereas heterosexuals who are reluctant to identify their homosexuality seem to lack enough self-respect to transition.
But again, this stigma is just society’s way of denying the individual’s sexual autonomy. What if that individual is being true to themselves only when they don’t identify to one group?
Biology, that which our physical bodies are capable of, has decreed our gender roles for centuries. Women’s womb makes babies. Men’s strength hunts for food. But we are an advanced species now. We are so much more than just biology. We are more than just animals trying to elongate the existence of our species through reproducing.
The truth is, there are no set “teams.” Individuals don’t owe society anything. Men don’t owe it to other men to be physically strong or to only desire females. Women don’t owe it to other women to only desire men or to become Susie “home-maker.” These gender cultures must be annihilated because they no longer hold any ground in this modern world and instead restrict our species’ true nature. Instead, we must develop a different culture, one that prescribes fluidity.
Sexuality is indeed fluid and can be fluid for the duration of an individual’s existence. Humans are shape-shifters, if only we’ll allow ourselves to be.