In defense of the Dick Pic Vol 1

97fnusmFor us girls and gay guys, it’s like surveying the mountain before we approach the ascent. All of us penis-lovin’ heathens, like myself, would appreciate knowing what the weather would be like before “lifting our sails.” And it’s helpful to be aware of how fast (or slow) the wind will be before taking off in an airplane…Okay enough euphemisms. You get the (dick) picture, right?

I’ve received some glorious shots in my day, and others 100% unwarranted. The thing about the dick pic, though, is timing. Timing is everything. If you’ve got a perfect pecker, good for you! But no one likes a show-off. So take your time before getting the anaconda prepped for his close-up.

Quick Dick Pic 101:

Before sending an image of your John Thomas into the sexting stratosphere make sure:

1) You’ve had at least 1 conversation that wasn’t about sex.
2) She’s shown *some* minuscule amount of physical attraction towards you.
3) You ask her, politely, how she’d feel if some X-rated stuff might be coming her way.
4) You never request a pic of her pretty kitty until you’re ready with one of your red rocket.
5) It’s neat and tidy, and well, you know, paying attention.

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